The race that was not a race

Looks like I am having fun- I can fake anything

I pretty much set the stage both in my head and publicly so no one would think I had a terrible race  that the Carlsbad 1/2 would be a catered training day- more of a temp run vs a race.  I planned it and yet when I was "not" racing I wanted to be racing but I did not have it mentally or in my legs to race.   Hard to explain.. I did a nice 30 min warm up really ez and felt good.  Started the run with the 1:40 pace group and figured I would run 1:40ish without racing.  Who was I kidding after 3 miles I was working harder than I wanted and was just not feeling it.  I also realized it was an hour into the run and I had zero calories so I took a GU hoping that would help...

I slowed the pace a bit and made it my training day.... but I was not happy.  I did not have it in me to race- mentally I did not want to suck it up and gut it out but mentally I was not okay with the training day.  I was having an argument with myself most of the run.   I also ditched my long sleeve shirt at mile 2 when I saw John because I was hot and as soon as we hit the coast I was cold.   Anyway I ran along trying to convince myself this would be quality training run and that was good.  Around mile 7 my stomach flipped... big flip, the kind of flip I get during Ironman.  

Ug...I tell you I can run and eat a ham sandwich in training (okay maybe that is a slight exaggeration) but I have iron gut training on the bike and run but in a race, even when I am not racing, my gut has a new agenda.  Mile 8 porta pottie stop 1.  Pace is slower and now I am yelling at myself for coming out- people are passing me and I am grumpy.  I could have run from home...I am quitting, wait quitting what, quitting my training run.  Seriously get a grip.   So I ran on and kept a steady pace (which I would have been quite pleased with had it been a normal long run)  and then had to ponder..do I take more calories and risk the ramifications or just flat out bonk.  I went for more calories and then stopped at porta pottie stop to at mile 10.  bummer.... I can say the pp's were nice and clean and open when I needed them, again at mile 12.  

After 12 I blasted out and sprinted the last mile... 7:02 - yes is was downhill but I passed everyone I could and tried to finish with a smile.  

So was it the gu or my pre race meal of kale, brussel sprouts, sunflower seeds, avocado and feta cheese?  can you say fiber...but I always eat that way.  Or was it the gu.... well with 7 weeks (- 1 day) because I am not prepared to say 6+ weeks to Ironman I need to re-visit nutrition.

Yes IM #8 and I am still pondering what to do.... I luckily have some long weekends ahead to practice.  

Yes it was fun if i keep saying it then it will be fun...lots of friends out there some who even PR'd!  And seeing familiar faces before, during and after is what makes training and racing so much fun.

So....recovery DAY and then a big week -  IM focus for me is volume, volume and less intensity. So I have to let my friends go on the climbs and roll with the volume as planned.