Find your why?

so proud of this crew for kicking ass

I would call myself highly motivated, I love to train, I like to suffer and sweat!  And when I am in shape and not injured, it's an addiction.  Coming off a frustrating 2nd 1/2 of 2019 with a hamstring tear, pulling out of Kona, and not racing the way I hoped I struggled 3rd quarter of 2019. I did my penance.  12 weeks off, no running, no biking, and mind-numbing and challenging PT.  I came ba

Love that we can do epic shit together

ck slowly and with a plan to kick ass in 2020! 

I hired a new coach, and we were on a journey building to some big races.  

And then COVID-19.  Over 50,000 Americans have perished, the economy has tanked, my business included, and of course, races canceled. 

I understand process goals, and I am all about the journey, but I wanted, needed a why.  


5/4/24.  More on that in my previous post  

We did this on 4/25, and I am at a loss for words as to how magical it was.

• It was not as hard as I thought, and most agreed, there is something about the 3+ hours to recovery that allows you to recharge
• I loved every single run-  
• 4am with John and the dogs
• 8am I met my athlete and friend Alex 1 mile in, and we ran together for 3 miles, and I finished with John
• 12:00 John and I hit the coast, it was 84 and hot, and we synced up with Hillary and Erin
• 4:00 repeat of 8am with Alex
• 8:00 dark and John was now very sick from a Celiac reaction do 3 of us met at the Park and Ride and ran to the coast and back, anything to avoid Saxony hill at that point
• 12:00 5 of us met at the Y and did a coastal run and back to the Y, wishing we could sneak in a swim 

Post-run was about virtual high 5's and a fantastic vegan/GF cobbler Alexis, one of my athletes delivered to my door still warm at 11:15 pm.  Can I just say I love my athletes. Kasey taped a Good Luck sign to my garage door. 

that time Mike "fricking" Reilly joined our zoom call Ironman Voice 

5/4/24 started as a personal challenge with one friend, and it grew to a few more, and then 2 other D3 coaches, Laura and Alison joined and some of my athletes and some of theirs + 25+ other friends and friends of friends.  It was growing every day.   

By Friday, it was magical, I was a 

coach - coaching my athletes, I could
see our athletes and others finding their purpose, an event filling a void that COVID-19 has created. The pre-race jitters, the camaraderie of the pre-race, during the race and the finish line,  maybe it is virtual or not.   

d3 pre-"race" zoom

We did a zoom call Friday night and at 3;50am before run 1, and the energy was there that race energy. I could see it in their eyes and feel the excitement.  The banter and enthusiasm were there all day through texts, insta, and FB posts, I was so thrilled to see it unveil.  No one complained. It was about the journey.   Just before run #4 we did a zoom call and had a special guest, Mike Reilly agreed to join us, the voice of Ironman.  It took the even to the next level; he was motivating, real, and brought the crew to tears! We all hung up and ran leg #4, knowing there will be another finish line.

I am so proud of everyone who conquered this!!  I have new virtual friends and am thankful to everyone for coming along on this journey. I am sad it is over, but I am so inspired for the next opportunity.

maybe my nutrition was NOT spot on

And for those of you who know me well....stay tuned!  There is one on the books for Memorial Day Weekend!  

My food log
3:30 am Coffee + coconut milk and nut pods creamer
4:50 post-run Vega Sport Protein + cinnamon raisin bagel with copious amounts of almond butter.  24 oz fluid with 2x Nuun + coffee
8:50 post-run 2 cups white rice with coconut oil + salt. BCAA recovery drink + 2x Nuun- 24 oz + coffee
12:50 post-HOT run- 24 oz NUUN + 600mg sodium tablets.  And mistake #1, 6, yes count them 6 pancakes with Miyokos butter and syrup.  I was starving, and this hit the spot.  
3:50 pre-run #4 Reign Energy Drink. What could go wrong with THERMOGENIC FUEL

Ignite your workouts by adding fire to the fuel!

Introducing Reign Inferno,dont judge " a new thermogenic fuel that burns calories & accelerates metabolism. Each can is packed with 300MG of natural caffeine, citrulline, green tea extract, BCAAs, l-carnitine, electrolytes & 0 sugar. "  I drank 1/2, and I felt like a million $$$.   1/2 bag dark chocolate covered pretzels.  Run #4 was the best - feeling overall

4:50 Post-Run 2 cups trader Joes miso soup + 18 oz and Nuun. My stomach is suddenly not so happy, I am hungry but not sure how it my stomach was doing.  Went for more white rice + plain pretzels and dark chocolate. + immodium and Alka Seltzer, can you say triage? 

8:50 stomach was sloshy and not so happy.   I laid down for a bit and fell asleep and woke up feeling totally normal.  Went for another bagel, no nut butter + rest of the Reign, and a Coconut Chocolate Gu.

12:50am Run was great, stomach fine, and then consumed copious amounts of vegan cobbler!   Still hungry added a cinnamon roll with nut butter and 1/2 Guinness and rolled into bed at 2:30.

Need to rework the plan for the future, but all in all minimal GI distress.  And as for Sunday.... it was a day-long buffet. 

5/4/24

   Why this? Why now?  

Racing as we know it as come to a grinding halt, and there is not a clear picture on when it may return.  7 weeks ago, I was focused on Oceanside 70.3, Belgian Waffle Ride, and Ultraman Canada, and now all those races are gone or rescheduled.   Will they even happen on the new dates?  Hard to say.

I think we all went through phases of acceptance.   One race canceled, and then we would look forward to the next one, then that canceled and so on.  I soon realized I needed a WHY.  More than I love training, more than I want to be fit, more than I am in a good groove with my coach and building fitness is a great way... I needed an event of sorts.  

David Goggins, one of my hero's, is known for doing epic events!  One of them is 4/4/48. You run 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours. So, 48 miles of running 48 hours. I am not in the proper run shape for 48 miles in 48 hours, so the idea of 4/4/24 was birthed, and that grew to 5/4/24. 30 miles in 24 hours!

Coach approved! That is my coach approved, and then it was about bribing recruiting others. An event like this elicits a sharp reply, either F yes I am in or F NO. It's amusing, very few people said, hmmm let me think about it, And so it grew...we are now well over 50 people from Canada to Mexico and across the US. 2 fellow D3 coaches are "in," and we joined forces with Team HPB, THE Smashfest Queen. So with 6 coaches, 50+ athletes, friends, and friends of friends, we will embark on this adventure tomorrow at 4am PST. We all run, virtually at the same time! We have a zoom check-in before run #4, and I am sure there will be lots of social and fun along the way.

4am

8am

12 noon

4pm

8pm

Midnight

This is not for everyone, and that is okay! But for those who are on board, we are excited and united. I have that nervous feeling before a race, and its been fun chatting with my athletes about the plan, nutrition, hydration, etc. Its very "race" like!

So this is how we are currently dealing with COVID-19. You can take the races away, but cannot take the will to compete out of us. We are competing against ourselves, no one wins or gets anything for going fastest. It's a personal quest. And I cannot wait.

#morecarbsplease

Where are you on this grid?

I received this a few days ago, and it has been resonating with me.   It's an interesting graphic and one we can all relate to right now.

Fear Zone- this hit all of us at different times, in different ways.  As you recall, mine culminated in chardonnay and purple hair, others in their own creative melt down's.   I can say I never hoarded or complained all the time, but I surely did transmit fear and anger to my husband.  I was guilty of forwarding as well.

Learning Zone-  I feel like most of us are hanging out in this zone right now, and it's not the wrong place to be.   I am in between Learning and Growth.      Friday, I felt like I was in the growth zone and killing it and then one minor issue and whamo I am thrown back into fear zone.  So it's a ping pong effect.     

Looking at  " I practice calmness, patience, relationships, and creativity,"  Well shit, let's be honest. I did not hang out there much before COVID19, so to ask that now? 

I made this graphic my screen saver, "nerd alert," so I see if every morning and try to start my day and hang out in the growth zone as much as possible.  When I get sucked back, I also realize this is temporary, and I will claw my way out of the fear zone.

Where are you?  Also, what if you are in the growth zone and your partner is in the fear zone?  asking for a friend, I think we are all moving in and out of zones, but let's keep working to keep learning and growing.

I took a break from my daily NPR and NY Times Podcasts, just too much right now.   Last night I listened to Brene Brown's latest pod,  Anxiety/Calm- Over/Under Functioning.  It's a good one!  Finding ways to stay positive, look forward are part of self-care!

And keep the humor coming!

It was inevitable ... I lost my

It was inevitable. I know it... it's likely happened to everyone or will since we are trapped in our houses with the ones we love for a never-ending amount of time.

It took me 14 days.   I was cruising through this just fine, really fine.  I'm not excessively drinking, I was busy every day and likely in denial, but looking forward to my race(s) whenever they may be.  I was managing HPN as it came and coaching is gong great, frankly my salvation right now. 

Oceanside canceled first, no worries postponed actually.   Next came BWR, ugh, bummer, as I was very excited for that race but pushed to Nov.  Okay so  O'side October and BWR November, no problem.  Then, Ultraman520 Canada Aug 1-3, will be great.   Last Thur, the email came from UM, canceled. Damn it.

Then came the first of 2 HUGE cancellations for my meeting clients one June and one July.  When my groups cancel, I don't get paid, ouch!  After 30+hours of trying to save/move the meeting, the first made the call to cancel.  Well, good thing UM canceled as I cannot afford it anyway, I am still laughing, sort of.  Then the 2nd one came, and the spiral began.  Couple that with a few other sh&t storms, it's was getting ugly fast.

Then my beloved says, "Hey if I get sick, don't go out of your way to save me"  Seriously, what does that mean?  I lost my sh*t!  100% apoplectic with head spinning and fluid spewing. My rant contained a lot of what "let you die alone in the back yard? That's MURDER?"  It went on in a very irrational manner, which I refuse to put into print. I realized this insanity and shouted, I am going for a walk. The dogs are cowering in the corner, and I dragged them down the hall telling them they HAD to walk with me.   Let's just say it was NOT my finest moment.  We had a lovely hike in the trails to calm my nerves.  

Post walk, I was feeling a lot better, so much in fact, I had a hefty glass of wine and dyed my hair purple.  Let's just say not my best look. 

Since then, I have regained perspective,  I am in for the long haul.  I realize there are many days like this to come.  Tough and challenging workdays. I am committed to finding the positive in each day, laughing, and remain thankful for my family, dogs, and my health!

Today started with this stunning sunrise with my amazing pups on the run! 

So try and keep it all in perspective, this will pass and find the good in what you can each and every day. 

Changes daily

Every day we wake up to more changes regarding COVID-19. We went from being careful to shelter at home in what felt like a hot minute. It's easy to check your app hourly to see how many more cases, deaths, is the curve flattening?   
But I've also been busy, so fricking busy. I've yet to clean a closet or binge on anything well, maybe wine a night or 3.  

Coaching is changing daily with races coming off the books, athletes' schedules change to more work depending on what they do, working at home with kids underfoot, to not working at home, and getting paid to not working at home and not getting paid. The stress levels are different for each athlete, some a #shelteringathome with too many people, some are alone, some have parents to worry about, etc. The value I bring to my athletes now is flexibility, responsiveness, and checking in to see how they are doing. Sure the scheduling is essential, but it's mainly based on each person. Some need less, some need more, in general, I am backing off intensity for most. Why? We are not in the race-specific cycle; with added "life" stress, we want a bit less training stress, and this is not the time time to wear down your immune system, thus being more susceptible to illness...

My other job is contracting meetings and events, so just imagine how that is going. Most of my days are spent talking with clients about 1- do we move the meeting to new dates, if so what dates? 2- will they cancel the meeting? If we do it too soon, they will owe money, but we need to ensure there is enough time for attendees to cancel plans, etc. The motto of HPN Global right now is "lift and shift" Find new dates for the meeting. With hotels closing for 4-6 weeks and laying off thousands of salespeople, sometimes 1/2 the battle is finding who can help at the hotel. The added stress is, if the meeting cancels, I don't get paid. With 5 cancellations so far, let's just say the race cancellations actually help me financially. With flights being credited, AirBnB refunding $, it's okay right now.

My race cancels so far: 4/4 Oceanside 70.3, 5/3 Belgian Waffle Ride, and Ultrman520 Canada 8/1-3. Am I disappointed, yes I am? But my more significant priorities are saving business and keeping my athletes happy. I had a great chat with my coach today, and it was what I needed. I needed to be an athlete for a bit to chat about my season and races. We have a solid plan in place and whether I race in Aug, Sept, or November, the plan soldiers on. I have a lot to "fix," and now the runway is even longer!

So as my CEO shared with his team, I share an excerpt.

We all need to be two things during this time: Be Strong and Be Kind.

During times of uncertainty, we need to embrace the shift, letting go of what we have known and how we have always done things. Uncertainty + Fear = Anxiety. We must

learn to uncouple fear from uncertainty to evolve – to embrace the shift.

Our wish for you this week is that you focus on taking care of yourself and your family. Focus on your strength (you are more durable than you realize) and move through the week

with kindness. On the road ahead, we will be refining our plans to support you and our HPN family, along with strategies for our collective future success.

"With a warrior heart, square up your shoulders, keep your chin up and keep

swinging."

How fast things change....

1 week ago, I was living with 8 athletes in Tucson as the D3 Camp.  It was my first camp as a coach, and it was so so much fun!!  It may have been a bit like herding cats too.   I am used to going to camp to get smashed, push my limits, and this was great to be able to help others get out of their comfort zones.

We had 3 houses, 1 coach, + athletes, and this really worked well.  It builds a level of camaraderie that cannot be replicated in a hotel or when in lots of houses.   I just loved watching and listening to the athletes talk, commiserate, share, and work together as a team in the kitchen and around the house.

We had a big week!!
3 swims- 2x 1 hour and 1x 2 hour with over 1200 yards band only.  I will admit I LOVED being on deck and watching how hard they worked, some first time with a band, and some even had battle wounds.  It was a day with an easy ride, and going into the swim a few asked me why another cruisy trip; I explained today was the day to be crushed in the pool.  2 hours later, they were noting that an easy ride sounded fantastic!   Why band only? 

5 bike rides
- Mt Lemmon

- Gates Pass
- Recovery ride
- Madera Canyon + 25 miles of TT
- Shootout Loop-- modified to 60 miles

5 Runs
45 min welcome run + drills
2x 30 min run OTB
1x 1-hour track session
2x 2 hour run on the last day

It was over 23 hours in 6 days!

Why go to camp?
1- you are pushed out of your comfort zone
2- you get to train like a pro, no work, no (or minimal) household chores, no spouse or dogs, just you and your training
3- you have time for mobility/rolling and recovery
4- it's so so fun!!
5- friendships for life. I look at some of the people I know from camp(s) over the years, and its a special bond.

This camp was a bit more surreal as COVID-19 was blowing up as we were training. Every day there was more news, and by Friday, races canceled, restrictions in place. We all knew that leaving our Tucson bubble was going to be hard, but little did we know that full effect.

I bet every camper would LOVE to do a band only swim right now!

We will weather this, it's frustrating, scary, and economically painful. Every day is a new reality, and we need to be flexible, set new goals!

I posted yesterday

o It is okay to feel a sense of disappointment that your race is canceled, allow that feeling to resonate for a bit, and then move forward.
o If you have a coach, set up a call to review short term goals, plans to work through the next 30 days, and then reassess. May races may still happen, so train accordingly. If you don't have a coach and are looking for some guidance, please reach out to me, I am happy to help.

o Swim: If the pools are closed, and open water is too cold. Stretch Cordz are a great option. Please reach out for workouts if you are faced with this.
o Bike: embrace Zwift or Trainer Road or ride outside but avoid gas stations or public places, refuel at home.
o Run: run out alone, avoid big training groups
o Strength: there are so many workouts you can do at home, you can even order a few kettlebells to up the ante a bit. I have many at-home exercises you can do.
This is not forever, try and be mindful, let's give the "social distance "a shot at actually working. While you may feel invincible, others are not, you don't know who touched the surface before you

Ragnar Del Sol

So staying home for the weekend was not an option... from triathlon camp to gravel camp to a Ragnar Running Race.   What the F?   I am not going to lie, I was worried. My run fitness is low, my hammie is mostly good, but what would Ragnar do to it?  I was 100% committed to NOT running if I was in pain.  We had some backup runners, so I would not have let the team down. But I was reallly really hopeful!

What is Ragnar? Ragnar relays are running events in which teams of 12, mostly insane people, take turns running 186 miles all day and through the night and into the next day until they are hangry, delirious with fatigue and smell like a rotting animal, all the while living, mostly in a van. It's the most fun you can imagine and a great way to "intimately" get to know your co-workers. After peeing in the desert together, changing in parking lots, wearing each other's sweaty night vests, discussing bodily functions, and marking them on the window..there is not much left to learn about each other. Can you say Team Building?

My team - Courtesy Standards (long back story) is comprised of my HPN co-workers, and we had a blast! This year I was in Van 1, which is the BOMB as you are done first.

Van 1

Then I ran 3 legs all-around 6 miles, and each one was faster than the last one!! And NO, can you read this, NO pain in my hamstring!!!  I was diligent with warm-up mobility, cool down, and the hypervolt, but I am elated!!!!   My pace was slow, but I have let go of that and am focused on building miles!

So this was a great test for my next slice of insanity.    Otillo SwimRun Catalina in less than 30 days.   Here my BFF and I will swimrun a total of 24 miles (19 miles running and 4.7 miles swimming) broken into 7 swims and 7 runs. Lucky for me, it is not this weekend.