It was inevitable ... I lost my

It was inevitable. I know it... it's likely happened to everyone or will since we are trapped in our houses with the ones we love for a never-ending amount of time.

It took me 14 days.   I was cruising through this just fine, really fine.  I'm not excessively drinking, I was busy every day and likely in denial, but looking forward to my race(s) whenever they may be.  I was managing HPN as it came and coaching is gong great, frankly my salvation right now. 

Oceanside canceled first, no worries postponed actually.   Next came BWR, ugh, bummer, as I was very excited for that race but pushed to Nov.  Okay so  O'side October and BWR November, no problem.  Then, Ultraman520 Canada Aug 1-3, will be great.   Last Thur, the email came from UM, canceled. Damn it.

Then came the first of 2 HUGE cancellations for my meeting clients one June and one July.  When my groups cancel, I don't get paid, ouch!  After 30+hours of trying to save/move the meeting, the first made the call to cancel.  Well, good thing UM canceled as I cannot afford it anyway, I am still laughing, sort of.  Then the 2nd one came, and the spiral began.  Couple that with a few other sh&t storms, it's was getting ugly fast.

Then my beloved says, "Hey if I get sick, don't go out of your way to save me"  Seriously, what does that mean?  I lost my sh*t!  100% apoplectic with head spinning and fluid spewing. My rant contained a lot of what "let you die alone in the back yard? That's MURDER?"  It went on in a very irrational manner, which I refuse to put into print. I realized this insanity and shouted, I am going for a walk. The dogs are cowering in the corner, and I dragged them down the hall telling them they HAD to walk with me.   Let's just say it was NOT my finest moment.  We had a lovely hike in the trails to calm my nerves.  

Post walk, I was feeling a lot better, so much in fact, I had a hefty glass of wine and dyed my hair purple.  Let's just say not my best look. 

Since then, I have regained perspective,  I am in for the long haul.  I realize there are many days like this to come.  Tough and challenging workdays. I am committed to finding the positive in each day, laughing, and remain thankful for my family, dogs, and my health!

Today started with this stunning sunrise with my amazing pups on the run! 

So try and keep it all in perspective, this will pass and find the good in what you can each and every day. 

Changes daily

Every day we wake up to more changes regarding COVID-19. We went from being careful to shelter at home in what felt like a hot minute. It's easy to check your app hourly to see how many more cases, deaths, is the curve flattening?   
But I've also been busy, so fricking busy. I've yet to clean a closet or binge on anything well, maybe wine a night or 3.  

Coaching is changing daily with races coming off the books, athletes' schedules change to more work depending on what they do, working at home with kids underfoot, to not working at home, and getting paid to not working at home and not getting paid. The stress levels are different for each athlete, some a #shelteringathome with too many people, some are alone, some have parents to worry about, etc. The value I bring to my athletes now is flexibility, responsiveness, and checking in to see how they are doing. Sure the scheduling is essential, but it's mainly based on each person. Some need less, some need more, in general, I am backing off intensity for most. Why? We are not in the race-specific cycle; with added "life" stress, we want a bit less training stress, and this is not the time time to wear down your immune system, thus being more susceptible to illness...

My other job is contracting meetings and events, so just imagine how that is going. Most of my days are spent talking with clients about 1- do we move the meeting to new dates, if so what dates? 2- will they cancel the meeting? If we do it too soon, they will owe money, but we need to ensure there is enough time for attendees to cancel plans, etc. The motto of HPN Global right now is "lift and shift" Find new dates for the meeting. With hotels closing for 4-6 weeks and laying off thousands of salespeople, sometimes 1/2 the battle is finding who can help at the hotel. The added stress is, if the meeting cancels, I don't get paid. With 5 cancellations so far, let's just say the race cancellations actually help me financially. With flights being credited, AirBnB refunding $, it's okay right now.

My race cancels so far: 4/4 Oceanside 70.3, 5/3 Belgian Waffle Ride, and Ultrman520 Canada 8/1-3. Am I disappointed, yes I am? But my more significant priorities are saving business and keeping my athletes happy. I had a great chat with my coach today, and it was what I needed. I needed to be an athlete for a bit to chat about my season and races. We have a solid plan in place and whether I race in Aug, Sept, or November, the plan soldiers on. I have a lot to "fix," and now the runway is even longer!

So as my CEO shared with his team, I share an excerpt.

We all need to be two things during this time: Be Strong and Be Kind.

During times of uncertainty, we need to embrace the shift, letting go of what we have known and how we have always done things. Uncertainty + Fear = Anxiety. We must

learn to uncouple fear from uncertainty to evolve – to embrace the shift.

Our wish for you this week is that you focus on taking care of yourself and your family. Focus on your strength (you are more durable than you realize) and move through the week

with kindness. On the road ahead, we will be refining our plans to support you and our HPN family, along with strategies for our collective future success.

"With a warrior heart, square up your shoulders, keep your chin up and keep

swinging."

How fast things change....

1 week ago, I was living with 8 athletes in Tucson as the D3 Camp.  It was my first camp as a coach, and it was so so much fun!!  It may have been a bit like herding cats too.   I am used to going to camp to get smashed, push my limits, and this was great to be able to help others get out of their comfort zones.

We had 3 houses, 1 coach, + athletes, and this really worked well.  It builds a level of camaraderie that cannot be replicated in a hotel or when in lots of houses.   I just loved watching and listening to the athletes talk, commiserate, share, and work together as a team in the kitchen and around the house.

We had a big week!!
3 swims- 2x 1 hour and 1x 2 hour with over 1200 yards band only.  I will admit I LOVED being on deck and watching how hard they worked, some first time with a band, and some even had battle wounds.  It was a day with an easy ride, and going into the swim a few asked me why another cruisy trip; I explained today was the day to be crushed in the pool.  2 hours later, they were noting that an easy ride sounded fantastic!   Why band only? 

5 bike rides
- Mt Lemmon

- Gates Pass
- Recovery ride
- Madera Canyon + 25 miles of TT
- Shootout Loop-- modified to 60 miles

5 Runs
45 min welcome run + drills
2x 30 min run OTB
1x 1-hour track session
2x 2 hour run on the last day

It was over 23 hours in 6 days!

Why go to camp?
1- you are pushed out of your comfort zone
2- you get to train like a pro, no work, no (or minimal) household chores, no spouse or dogs, just you and your training
3- you have time for mobility/rolling and recovery
4- it's so so fun!!
5- friendships for life. I look at some of the people I know from camp(s) over the years, and its a special bond.

This camp was a bit more surreal as COVID-19 was blowing up as we were training. Every day there was more news, and by Friday, races canceled, restrictions in place. We all knew that leaving our Tucson bubble was going to be hard, but little did we know that full effect.

I bet every camper would LOVE to do a band only swim right now!

We will weather this, it's frustrating, scary, and economically painful. Every day is a new reality, and we need to be flexible, set new goals!

I posted yesterday

o It is okay to feel a sense of disappointment that your race is canceled, allow that feeling to resonate for a bit, and then move forward.
o If you have a coach, set up a call to review short term goals, plans to work through the next 30 days, and then reassess. May races may still happen, so train accordingly. If you don't have a coach and are looking for some guidance, please reach out to me, I am happy to help.

o Swim: If the pools are closed, and open water is too cold. Stretch Cordz are a great option. Please reach out for workouts if you are faced with this.
o Bike: embrace Zwift or Trainer Road or ride outside but avoid gas stations or public places, refuel at home.
o Run: run out alone, avoid big training groups
o Strength: there are so many workouts you can do at home, you can even order a few kettlebells to up the ante a bit. I have many at-home exercises you can do.
This is not forever, try and be mindful, let's give the "social distance "a shot at actually working. While you may feel invincible, others are not, you don't know who touched the surface before you