Monday, March 23, 2015

Frustrated, angry and impatient

So I left Tucson D3 Multisport camp feeling fit, happy and strong.  Good times with my coach and other D3 athletes.  Even though I not able to run, I knocked out some solid cycling and swimming.   I spent the camp shifting my thoughts from Oceanside (knowing that race was out) to St George and how that would be my A pre - season race.

SG is hilly.  Hilly bike, hilly run, All good.   It's amazing how my psyche flipped in 12 +hours... Walking not running because I can't the dogs this AM I can feel my shin but have been possibly lying thinking it has been getting better each day. I ice/heat/ice is, roll it, stretch it, roll the calves, roll the quads, do my back exercises.... all the modalities prescribed.   Roo was chasing a bird and darted in the street, 20 steps running and pain, real pain. Stop me in my tracks pain.  Really.... 11 days no running and I have apparently made zero progress. Wait I have spent over $500+ ( I quit keep track)  and my rehab efforts have been spot on but the shin is ANGRY!   I wish I could tell you I took this in stride this am, that I took a breath and calmly carried on being thankful for all I have.   I did not- I was swearing and pissed and have been every since.

Went to see Steve at Paragon. Grumpy Monday AM.  We test and retest and he is very serious, could be the bone he says "but let's see" .  He works, digs, tortures me, ices and well I do get some relief.  Maybe not the bone.  Ugh.... I just want to know.     He put a heel lift in my shoe to see if taking some of the pressure off helps- yes and no.   Ice = magic.  But soon the pain is back.

So.... I have another Dr appt  tomorrow.  I need to get a scan to see if this is bone or tendon/fascia/?.   So I am now thinking past SG- what about Vineman or Canada... how long will I not be running. Will I race this season? what if Santa Cruz in Sept is my first race then I have to find a late Ironman.... At least I have options- really I do.

If it were left to me I would be out riding 5 hours hilly tomorrow and then next day and the next day..... coach says no.  I want to be suffering and getting fitter somehow.... will see how that plays out.

Yoga- maybe I will take a yoga challenge? Shoot me now.   Swim- great I can work on my swim.

Oceanside- Aquabike. Sure I'll do it,  I have athletes to follow on the run, so I can help coach encourage them.  I have teammates and friends racing so I can support them.  Ideal NO.  Life= yes.   As for what is next.... I don't know.

Rant over... next post about how awesome camp was :)